5 ways you disrespect yourself in a Relationship

Sis, it doesn't matter what you look like, do or have, what matters is how you carry yourself. As a woman on her journey of refinement, you should hate disrespect (I know you don't know that it's disrespect) but you have an even stronger reason to - the way God sees you and values you. God put so much value in you and calls you the constant focus of his delight. That's why you should be working on your Godly refinement to bring out that value. 

These are the 5 ways you disrespect yourself in a relationship. 

1. Splitting the bills 

Why do you do this? To prove that you are an independent woman? You disrespect yourself when you do this. A man in the context of a relationship is the leader, protector and provider. Let him be the man. If you've been reading this blog, you know that this in no way, shape or form means that you should be jobless, unambitious or a financial liability. 

 

If you desire quality treatment from a man, Please, delete that strong independent woman narrative and mindset. Don't ever offer to split bills with a man that you are in a relationship with or even carry heavy objects when you both are together. You are teaching him to treat you less. 

Read: The Secret Quality Women Use to Date the Right Men 

2. Begging for bare minimum 

Time, attention, communication, respect, affection, effort and honesty are all bare minimums in a relationship. Never beg a man to make time for you or love you or put in real effort. These are all things that a man who values you and a relationship with you will do. 

The sad thing is the more you beg for the bare minimum, the more you aren't going to get them and you will be disrespected. Begging for something that should be the basics is like saying "I don't know my worth"

The absence of the bare minimum is a sign that maybe the other party no longer wants or values that relationship. 

Also read: 10 Proclaimations Every Quality Woman Should Make. 

3. Waiting years for a proposal

They say a man knows what he wants and it's absolutely true. First things first, as a Christian woman, why are you dating a man that isn't ready for marriage? Ready spiritually, mentally, physically and financially. Stirring up your emotions and sexual desires for no just cause?  Where in the Bible have you seen women who were in a relationship with the man they married for many years? If you find, please, leave it in the comments. 

Guess what, if he wants to marry you, it won't take him long to do so. So being in a relationship and constantly asking "When are we getting married?" is disrespecting yourself. 

Or you've been promised marriage and it's been years. Hmmm, sis, you might want to ask if this is what God wants for you. Promising you a marriage that seems to never come may just be a tool to keep you tied up. 

Also read: Are you making this costly dating mistake?

4. Acting like his mom 

He isn't loving you right, so you think you have to teach him how to love you. No, sis, he knows what to do, he doesn't just see you as worth the effort. Stop getting frustrated about why you think he isn't learning.

When you act like his mom, trying to help him make decisions when he didn't ask you to, being a 24/7 room service on call, etc may be from a place of fear - that you need to show him how caring you are or how homely and helpful you are for fear that he might leave. 

Put some esteem on your name and keep that masculine energy far from you. You are enough! What if I told you that the reason he came to you in the first place is because he saw value. Stop acting like you are a maid and put some respect on your name. 

Also read: Being a girlfriend is a scam 

5. Staying when he doesn't make you a priority 

 

A man is showing and telling you that you are not his priority and you are still there 🤦🏽 doing what? Waiting to stop being an option? Something about love and relationships is that you never have to wonder if he loves you. Has he stood you up more than once, does he make spending time with you look like a chore, or do you find yourself constantly being told that the lack of communication, call or text is because he is busy?

Sis, even for marriage, avoid men that don't believe and obey the scripture that says "and they shall be one flesh". If they think their wife is not their family, instead it's their siblings, run. You don't want to be battling with a man who will put all his assets in his mom's name. 

Which one did you find the most surprising?