Believe it or not, not everyone is called to date in order to be married. But sis, if dating is a process God will allow you to go through for marriage, you have to do it right. Dating is a selfish process and men get it. The problem is that women do not. In my previous posts, I talked about what dating is. Dating is collecting data to see if someone is the right fit for you and want you want from life - mentally, physically, spiritually and otherwise.
Most women shoot themselves in the foot when it comes to dating. Dating is a selfish process, you go into it PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST, especially as a woman. When a man ask you out on a date, he did so because he saw what he needs in you and is trying to get to know you better. You don't have to start trying to make yourself what he likes, trying to impress him or try to find out his preferences so you can make him like you. No, sis, doing these will devalue you and give you the opposite result of what you want. It also shows that you don't understand your power as a woman. Your job is to sit back and let him impress you, not the other way around. Always let men impress you.
Also read: 5 Qualities to Look out for in your Future Husband
Now this one is very important. Men are audacious, they have audacity. Sometimes you hear a man list his requirements in a woman and the requirements and the man doesn't even match. It's really the audacity for me. Guess what? He is right! He is stating what he wants in a woman. Let me tell you what the issue is. The issue is that when a man that is talking to you states what he wants in a woman, you start checking to see which ones you have - ERROR! What you should do is state what you want in man, state the type of man you want. Never try to make yourself fit into a man's list no matter what. Focus on if he has what you need. If you are not selfish in dating, you will never get what you want.
Let me tell you something you don't know about men. Men are extremely selfish when it comes to what they want. It doesn't matter if a man is not what you want or if he knows he is not what you want, if he sees what he wants in you he will want to have you regardless of the fact that that relationship will not benefit you. For him, it's about what he wants and what serves him, not about you. He is not thinking about you, he is thinking about himself.
This is why you must lead with what you want and be selfish about it. Don't pity a man when it comes to dating or date a man out of pity - you will regret it. Dating is also not the place to compromise. If he doesn't have ALL the core things and values you want, drop him.
Also read: 5 ways you disrespect yourself in a relationship
I hope you enjoyed reading this and it was insightful for you. This will completely change your dating game, I promise you. Please, share this with a woman you love and leave a comment.
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