Being a girlfriend is a scam - a must read

 The concept of a "committed relationship" is a deceitful, time-wasting concept. What are you doing dating a man for 5 years? This may be the first time you will be hearing this but I'm glad you are hearing it regardless. Being a girlfriend is the biggest scam of the 21st Century. It is the single biggest reason why men waste your time, use your feminine energy and then leave you even when you are a wise woman with good standards. You don't have to be a girlfriend to be a wife. Let's break it down. 

The goal of dating is marriage. Marriage is the only committed relationship. So if the goal of dating is marriage then DO NOT DATE IF YOU AREN'T READY TO GET MARRIED. And when you are ready, don't date a man that isn't ready to be married. This is a fundamental principle. You will only be wasting your own time, arousing your desires and emotions for nothing. A man that isn't ready to be married but wants to be with you is simply put - a time waster looking for someone to string along. Don't forget that. It is a display of ignorance. 

Also read: Why you should hold a man to a high standard

"Oh Dorcas, but I need to be his girlfriend to get to know him well". Please, read on. 

Agreeing to be a man's girlfriend is daylight robbery because you are the one who gets to lose. "But it doesn't matter, we'll just be girlfriend and boyfriend until we are ready." And when will that be? Your feminine energy is the most sort after energy in the world. Do you know what you do to a man when you are with him? You serve as motivation for him to go after his dreams, your feminine energy helps him prosper, being by his side makes him feel and look more like a man among countless others. You give yourself an indefinite sentence when you agree to be his girlfriend. If not, what are you doing dating a man for 5 years, some even 10 and above? Most university degree doesn't even take that long. Dating for long is an indication that there is a problem and the problem is that he doesn't want to marry you. Men know what they want right off the bat. Please, don't ever let any man deceive you that he doesn't know. If he is taking too long to propose, he probably doesn't want to marry you. That's why you shouldn't date a man who isn't ready for marriage and be his girlfriend waiting indefinitely for when he gets ready.

Ever wonder why you see some crazy reactions to proposals? After waiting for God knows how long, and only God knows what you may have been doing in those years to get him to marry you. Now, he finally proposes and you don't know what to do with yourself. Ladies, let this not be you, please. I personally believe that any dating that exceeds a year should be brought to an end. That man doesn't want to marry you or doesn't have what it takes to marry you. Being a girlfriend keeps you tied down indefinitely. He feels some kind of ownership towards you and you feel the same, meanwhile, there is no commitment or legal recognition for the union. Just 2 people who decided to tie themselves down toiling with each other's emotions and punishing themselves with sexual temptation. 

Also read: 5 ways you disrespect yourself in a relationship

So far, we've established some facts. So what do I do when I am ready to get married? 

Remember that the goal of dating is marriage. What is dating? Dating is collecting data to see if this person aligns with your core values and what you want. You do this by going out and communicating, keeping it light and fun. You are just seeing if they are what you want. This is not a relationship and if other people that look like what you want ask you out on a date, you should go out with them too. Ladies, please, don't play had to get, be hard to get. Focus on your self-development, building your businesses and career and fulfilling your purpose. This will give you so much undeniable value to offer. And if he asks you to be his girlfriend, please, tell him you are dating to marry. If he wants you he will do the needful after a little while. Until then, keep having fun and going on dates with eligible men. 

I am eager to answer your questions, please, leave them in the comments. 

Let me know if you'll like me to do a post on what to look out for in a real man.